He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think i got beer on your cat.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
