Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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