another moral hangover. fuck.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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