hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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