I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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