I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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