You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
