Just mADE A PArabola og urine
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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