Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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