i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
