The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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