I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
