The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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