Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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