69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
