I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need a beard to bite.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize