he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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