You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize