Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
