i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
