Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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