her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
