found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
