no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
