fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
