Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
