Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
