If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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