But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
