i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize