Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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