bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize