She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
