I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
