he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
