you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize