I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
