You're a womanizer and a bitch.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
