It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
