me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
