A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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