i may or may not be watching the land before time
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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