party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize