There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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