Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
