It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
