I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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