DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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