Soap is not a condiment
apparently the secret to your success is patron
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
