Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
