You just made me feel so damn special
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize