Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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