You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
