i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
