Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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