You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
