so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
