I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
