if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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