margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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