I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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