chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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