i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize