I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
