Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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