I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
