I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
