He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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