I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
